”Every woman, whether rich or poor, married or single, has a circle of influence within which, according to her character, she is exerting a certain amount of power for good or harm. Every woman by her virtue or her vice, by her wisdom or her folly, by her dignity or her levity is adding something to our national elevation or degradation.” —John Angell James
some days I wonder what I am adding to this world, whether it is elevating or degrading. I’d like to say that most of the time, my input to society, or at least my family is positive, but sadly as a very sinful, albeit forgiven, woman that is not always the case. I used to often write about biblical womanhood, and modesty, and what it means to follow Christ as a wife and mom, but I haven’t in a while. Newly inspired, I would like to start today.
my circle of influence, is mostly my immediate family, so husband, and children. they see me at my best and at my worst. Recently I have been more and more convicted, both from my loving husband and wise women online, that I show more of my worst side, my temper, or just my impulsive worldly ways, my addiction to being online, and the fear that I may just miss someone’s really irrelevant status update. That leads to me losing my temper more because my children act out as they want my attention. so I have been really challenged to put down the phone, tablet, laptop, and engage with my children, so that I don’t only yell our of frustration because they are bugging me while I am doing what is ultimately folly. I realized this even more when my husband gave me his FarmVille game to take over, i played it like an addict, racing against time to fill orders for a computerized character, and to make as much money as I could to buy the next thing I need to fill more orders in my race against time… and what I realized is it’s such a waste, a fun waste, but a waste nontheless. I would reach for the iPad as soon as I could get up in the morning and play FarmVille for half an hour, and then run late with everything. Which would make me edgy with the kids, and my husband, and the dogs, rabbits and chickens (The real ones in my garden). I realised that playing this game, and being online all the time for fear that I miss something is degrading. my legacy to my children should not be a mama who was plugged into a screen all day, and yelled when she was running late due to her own faults, but a mama and wife who is plugged into the family. it’s not about how many friends I have on Facebook, or how many peach yogurts I can make on FarmVille. It’s about begin friends with my husband, and knowing him, about connecting with real life friends when I can, or at least having meaningful conversations online, not just cyber-stalking, and it’s about playing and engaging with the little people I have been blessed with.
i don’t want to write for other people anymore, to do product reviews or write to see how many comments I get. I want to write what will elevate, and encourage my daughters one day if they read this blog, about being a mom and wife. I have likely lost all my readership anyway, but thats fine, I will not promise to post often, but when I do it will be meaningful. I write now more for myself as a reminder or even a journal to see what I have learnt, and maybe someone else learns or maybe not, but it’s ok. For now I will let go, and play with my kids and hang out with my man. Hopefully that will be enough to elevate our nation and our world.