I am a perfectionist. OCD. Call it what you like.
I was raised by a mom who managed to keep her house in shipshape all the time, even today her house is never messy or cluttered. I inherited this, which is not a bad trait, except that it became an obsession for me. I clean, tidy, declutter, sweep, move my kids and husband out the way to sweep where they stood, shout at them to pick up, and have heart attacks when they unpack something when I just cleaned.
Slowly however, I am learning to let go. I am decluttering and organising the house in a way that makes it slightly simpler to tidy quicker and easier, but I am trying to let go of the obsession and to focus on being present, and pleasant. We live in this house, my kids play, and they play hard… unpacking every single toy… so I am letting go.
Obviously the house needs to be clean, because dirty is just gross, so we have a lovely cleaner who comes in once a week and saves my sanity. I do laundry and dishes but for the rest I just let go. Its quite liberating really, to just step over the toys instead of screaming. I am by no means “cured” but I am getting there. Hopefully soon the clutter will be slightly less, then it will be simpler.
Instead of focusing on the mess I will focus on raising my family to focus on what is important, God’s word and loving each other and others.
So that’s my confession for the week…