Clay Jar People

UPDATE: Mr Murray – executive director of The Foschini Group – called Taryn Hayes now and told her that these t-shirts were out of line and that they slipped passed their vetting system. They are all being recalled from all stores (including sports scene) across the country and an investigation is happening to see how they got passed through in the first place. He was very apologetic and as outraged as everyone else. Taryn was quite impressed with his handling of it. Now to see how quickly this happens. :-)

I am not usually one who reposts entire posts from other blogs… but this post by Jennifer Thorpe on the Mail and Guardian site really is important to me. My friend, Taryn previously posted about the derogatory and degrading T-shirts that Markhams sell… and there was major uproar and emails and such… but it appears that Foschini are still being ignorant and making it look like women are things to be used. I get so freaking angry I could use horrible words! But read this post, and help take action!

T-shirts that are offensive towards women, ignorant of the HIV/Aids pandemic in South Africa, or are simply offensive are a reflection of a culture that says we shouldn’t care about these things, because misogyny, HIV/Aids and women’s rights are not something to be taken seriously. When a major brand like Foschini chooses to produce shirts that entrench these messages it is important that they are called to account.

On Thursday last week, Rebecca Hodes posted a letter on FeministsSA, signed by a number of journalists and academics, calling the Foschini group to remove the following shirt from their stores, and illustrating to them why it was wrong to have shirts like this in their stores. I put out a call on FeministsSA for others to send me images of shirts that they found offensive. I received three more. One that said “I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U”. One said “You looked better … from behind”. The final one said the way to a woman’s heart was throughmoney, cars and lies.

What these T-shirts share in common is a deep-seated misogyny, a lack of respect for women, a lack of awareness about sexual health, and the fact that they are all produced by the Foschini group in their stores Markhams and Sportscene.

Foschini is sending us a message — they don’t care about women’s rights, and they are more than happy to print offensive messages about women. They don’t believe that people who shop in their stores are at risk of contracting HIV, despite claiming their own internalcomprehensive HIV policy.

The following stores are also part of the Foschini group:

• Foschini
• Donna-Claire
• Fashion Express
• Luella
• Markhams
• Exact
• Totalsports
• Sportscene
• Due South
• American Swiss
• Sterns
• Matrix
• @home
• @homelivingspace

I imagine that many of the people who shop at these stores do not support misogyny, do not support the dangerous practice of multiple concurrent partners, and would like their children to grow up in a world where women are respected for their intellect, ambition and talents rather than for how they look from behind.

If you are part of that group, and shop at Foschini, I’d like to ask you to stop. I’d like you to pay up and close your accounts.

I’d like to ask you to go one step further and get in touch with them and tell them about your displeasure with their messaging on the following number: 021 938 1911. The real person you want to talk to is AD Murray, their executive director.

I’d like you to ask Mr Murray if he promotes these views within the directorate of this corporation, and if he is aware that he is offending and alienating the majority of his target market. I’d like you to tell me what he says.

For now, and until they issue an apology for their ignorant offensive messaging, I will be boycotting them. I hope you will be too.

We semi-cosleep, so I feed Elijah in bed, meaning I tend to fall asleep during feeds most times. As I mentioned in this post, I am always looking out for things to make breastfeeding easier for moms.

Enter Nature and Nurture.

Laura and Angie have created a range of products aimed at promoting breastfeeding and making it easier for moms. This includes pajamas, winter and summer, shawls and feeding bracelets.

I highly recommend the pyjamas, they have separate “flaps” to make breastfeeding convenient. Using press studs instead of those complicated clasps, its really easy to open and close. They are pretty and feminine, with lace and in pretty colours. The set I have is a wild rose pink, with white lace. In summer they will be awesome. They come in sizes 32-44 and at R495, they are on par with places like La Senza’s products.

 Nurture wrap and summer pjs

Summer pjs

 Winter pjs

I interviewed them for this review, so we can get to know more about the people behind the products.

What did you do after school?

Both my sister and I studied and then started working at a magazine selling advertising.

Where are you based?

Fourways, Johannesburg

What inspired you to start your business?

It was born out of necessity, when we had our babies we could not find pyjamas that we stylish or practical for breastfeeding. We started with a drawing on a piece of paper in June 2010 and the business grew from there.

Where does the name come from?

Nature & Nurture seemed to be the best name to represent our company ethos and products.

Where do you want the business to go in the future?

We would love to be South Africa’s biggest supplier of stylish and practical nightwear for new moms. We would love to be the house-hold name for nightwear and accessories for breastfeeding moms.

Which of your products is your favourite and why?

It has to be our pyjamas, they were the brainchild for the whole business, and they truly were designed by moms for moms and ever detail was carefully thought out to make the feeding experience as dignified, comfortable and natural as possible.

Please contact them on Facebook or through the website.

(I received one set of summer PJs to review,  but was not reimbursed in any other way. The opinions above are purely my own.)

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This video actually amused me… Who thought a columnist for CNN would write such a controversially opinionated column. I think he deserves a Pulitzer, and the Nobel prize. But thats just me, a passionate mom and modesty advocate.

I want to cry when I walk through shopping malls and see young girls dressing like 20-year olds. To be honest, I shudder when I see anyone in those clothes. There is such a thing as inappropriate dressing.

When I was younger, like 12ish, crop tops were the height of fashion… think Spice Girls at the peak of their fame. Mel C was my idol, I wore crop tops with bell bottom pants. Of course, my folks allowed me to wear them to a party at a friends house, and at home, but never outside of that. Still, thinking back, apart from the horrendous fashion disaster, I think maybe they should have put their foot down and said heck no.

My husband is and has always been a huge fan of feminine dress and as he calls it “girliness”. I was never girl – I shunned dresses, endured skirts with pain, and loved jeans and t-shirts. Since meeting him, and coming to my own senses, via the Bible, and authors such as Leslie Ludy, I have realised how being, acting and dressing femininely is a godly thing. It has so much to do with our roles. Looking like a woman when you are one, is a good thing.

Now this may come as a shock…

There is nothing feminine about trampy clothing…

Yes, you might be showing your womanly curves, or in the case of an 8-year-old, not so curvy. But that doesn’t make it feminine.

As a mom, I shudder to think what my daughter one day (God willing) will want to wear or be exposed to. Its our place and duty to model Godly womanhood and dress to our kids, girls and boys. I want my son to know what a godly woman looks like so he’ll chose one as his wife one day. Not because she bares all, physically or emotionally, but because she shines love for God in her manner and dress.

So please moms of girls, I beg you, I implore you… Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Do not let your children grow up so soon by dressing like that. And protect our sons from stumbling.

This is key: “Such a stance doesn’t always makes me popular — and the house does get tense from time to time — but I’m his father, not his friend.”

This morning was very exciting, as I met with the owner of the gorgeous vintage-inspired baby clothing line, Bella Blue. Misha is a down-to-earth, funky, gutsy girl who has a passion for vintage. She was inspired to start this range and in 2009 joined with her friend and cousin, Angela to start this company. Inspired also by Annebella, Angela’s little girl, they designed and created a range of baby and toddler wear, with a touch of old. (how cute is that logo!?!)

Angela tragically passed away in March 2011 in a car accident, and is sorely missed by the company and family. But her touch and love for her daughter and vintage remains clearly seen in the clothing in Bella Blue‘s line.

Misha now heads up the company, and runs it from Stellenbosch. She has a showroom where the clothes can be viewed and ordered, and also sells to boutiques and online. When I looked through the items she brought to show me, I wished for a moment that I had a baby girl! I promised to buy at least one dress for my daughter, when we have one, one day. All their pieces are unique, never repeated, so your baby will really have a one of a kind outfit.

One thing I love is that the clothing for girls is modest, being vintage. As a mom who is concerned about modesty, it is definitely a drawing point for me.

The quality, which I am very particular about when paying good money for clothing, is impeccable. The fabric is sourced from all over South Africa, making it a true local product. I am amazed at the gorgeous fabrics they manage to find though!!

Bella Blue designs and makes shoes, clothes, toys, nursery decor and even sells books. I just took a few pictures of my favourite of the outfits Misha brought with her, it was a hard choice choosing the favourites. But the sheep doll won first place!! How cute would that look in Elijah’s room :) I would definitely recommend their clothing to any vintage loving mama! Their prices are reasonable considering the love that is put into each outfit, and the uniqueness thereof. The white dress in the picture above is based on a dress that was Misha’s grandmother’s as a little girl! How awesome! The shoes are soooo precious!

These are the cutest little blocks I have ever seen – so colourful!

This dress is called Beth, all their clothes have names, specifically chosen from their family and making each item so much more special.

This is the girliest dress – I love it! Its called Megan :)

I am a sucker for patchwork and quilts – this “lappies-kombers” is divine, so pretty and bright, with a fleece underside which makes it so nice and cosy!

What is more vintage than crochet? This blanket is so pretty – Misha brought it with too! Its so soft and pretty, perfect for wrapping tiny people.

For more of their stunning products, please have a look at the website.

I started talking about feminine modesty yesterday, and I said I would explain why it is necessary to be modest and feminine. So, here is the first reason…

Its a universal problem that young women, being influenced by the media, think they need to look sexy to get attention… So wearing low cut tops is normal, and expecting attention for the amount of cleavage shown is a given. Why then is it surprising when men look at us like we’re a nice rump steak, and drool at the sight of us? Why is it surprising that they look at us, and do not see intelligent people but cleavage on legs? Its not surprising because its what we are inviting with our dress!

Godly men are attracted to women who are capable of capturing their hearts and minds, not causing them to stumble with lust. They are attracted to women who would be helpers and companions for them for many years, even after their looks have failed. If you have any respect for your brothers in Christ, you will consider this:

Your immodest, revealing dress causes your brother in Christ to stumble. You are causing him to sin in his mind, by lusting. Some of you may say, but he needs to have self control… That’s not fair, men are visually stimulated, and its not right for us as women to taunt and tease them and cause them to stumble. This may sound like I’m saying men just think of one thing, but I’m not. I am saying that the Lord created them to appreciate beauty and the shape of women… Within the safety of marriage. The only time its ok to dress in a way that is sexy is when its for your husband. So please girls/ladies, I beg you to think of your Christian brothers, and realise the harm you are potentially causing harm to their spiritual lives.

I thought it would be good to repost this post from 2 years ago…:

As you well know by now, I am quite passionate about modest dress and being feminine. This mindset has only developed, as the Lord has worked in my life over the last few years. I used to be a tomboy, wearing jeans and baggy tops with sneakers and a ponytail. Femininity was uncool and I thought being a girl was the worst thing to happen to me.

For many years I hated my body, and just being a girl. I had mostly male friends, and could not relate to girls at all. This became an issue when I discovered that boys were fun to date, not just be friends with. My whole outlook on relationships was distorted as I had no clue who I was and what my role was in God’s plan. I went from relationship to failed relationship, to more messy relationships… Always wondering what was wrong with me that I just could keep guys interested.

Then one day I met a guy who basically told me what my problem was when I’d only known him a few days. He said, you need a man who will treat you right, like a princess. Now for a tomboy, thats a confusing pill to swallow… I didn’t want to be a princess, that was too girly and icky. But the Lord’s will prevailed, and this man captured my heart, by treating me like a princess- albeit against my will :)

He was chivalrous, romantic, strong, masculine enough to encourage the slightest femininity in me. He taught me that guys love girls who wear dresses, and who make an effort to look pretty. He taught me that women are supposed to be soft, and that men feel strong when woman need them. He’s a godly leader and very special man… And I’m glad that after almost 5 years of knowing each other and a year and a half of marriage, we’re still very much in love.

To get back to my original point, femininity and modesty are things many of us deny ourselves because we dislike our bodies, or we have a problem with the fact that we’re female. But God has such an amazing role prepared just for you, as a woman, whether it is as a single girl or a married mom of 6 :) He has plans to make you prosper. The role He designed for women cannot be fulfilled by man, so it is vital that you embrace your feminine role in the Father’s plan. Whether that entails marriage and motherhood or serving Him in the mission field, we have to follow His guidance. The role of a woman, is one of feminine strength, quiet spirit, gentle words and submissive help meet. Our dress has alot to do with this, if we dress in a masculine fashion, we won’t feel pretty and feminine, and therefore we won’t reflect that femininity. As Kristen from The Faithful Fashionista says in this post on her blog (this link doesn’t work anymore… :( ), we need to dress pretty in order to feel pretty and in turn, the men in our lives will treat us as women, not ‘one of the guys’.

Tomorrow, I will continue along this thought… and begin explain why we need to dress feminine and modestly.

I read most of my favourite blogs in Google reader – and today I noticed almost all of them had linked to this post. This mom has made a clear stand for modesty and how important it is to make sure girls/women dress appropriately. As a wife and mother of a son, I pray that women would learn this lesson – for the sake of their own virtue and that of my husband and son. Men don’t need to see every inch of skin. Really. Its hard enough for men with the media bombarding them, why must they see it in malls, work, school and sadly even church?

I hope that one day when I have a daughter, I will be able to be strong enough to model modesty to her, even if it means she’s not popular. Because my children are worth that.

Very funny video! Totally on the ridiculous side… but very good point!

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We’re doing a maternity shoot in November and two of my friends are doing my hair and make up, so I can be all spoilt and girly.

Here are the pics that inspired me for the shoot:

I hope my pregnant self can pull it off and I can look all purty-like :)

Most of you have probably seen this video… but each time I watch it, it reminds me that our world is very superficial about beauty – and there is a certain stereotype that is beauty, and if you don’t fit that type, you can’t qualify as beautiful. This reminds me of the following verses:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
1 Peter 3:1-6

Beauty is not necessarily a seen thing – but rather a heart thing – something in the attitude, and the way you carry yourself, its in the living out of the inner sanctification. Its the fruit of the Spirit:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23

Think about it… and remember that whenever you feel envious of someone for their looks or feel fat because you don’t look like the girls in magazines.