Clay Jar People

I have never actually shared my testimony or story on my blog before… and I am not going to ;) You can however find it on the amazing new This Is Love blog, started by the ladies of Commonground Church! Please go and check it out, and check out the other posts on the blog and share some comment love.

This Is Love is a brilliant new blog aimed at encouraging the women of Commonground Church and then also Christian women further afield. Its really going to be a great resource for sharing Jesus’ love with the world.

home…

what does that mean to you?

do you think of a warm bed, or pretty painted walls, or maybe the people that make your house a home?

sometimes home is not necessarily the place you live, but the place you can grow, and love people. like church or even work in some cases.

in my case, church has always been a place that has to feel like home. sometimes that changes, as church leadership changes, often the beliefs or values of the church changes and then it can begin to feel less like home and less like a place you want to place your heart.

the home i had for many years until we got married was a church that was walking distance from my parents’ home, its the church we also returned to when we moved back to the area and had Elijah. its a good, pretty solid bible-teaching church. sadly things have changed and our home no longer feels like home. as i previously mentioned, we have been looking for a church that is a better fit and feels like a place we can call home.

it seems that God called us or drew us to a church, which is home… its like when you walk into a house and you just know you can live there and it will be the awesomest house ever. that’s how it was when we walked into this church. people were friendly and welcoming, the teaching is solid bible-based and yet applicable, the worship is intense, the beliefs of the church is on par with ours, and they have a heart to reach the lost, the marginalised, the vulnerable and the City of Cape Town. i have never felt so at home in a church ever. and even though i know about 4 people in the church from before going there, the people i have since met, have been so loving and caring, that it feels like i have known them for a while.

that is what church is about, showing Christ’s love to everyone who walks through the doors, and reaching out into the community to touch the lives of people who do not yet know His grace.

the first church, in Acts 2 is the ideal church, the church that really all churches should strive to be like. no church will be perfect as they are made up of sinners, but striving to be more like Christ, means working at it, daily.

this is what the first church looked like:

42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

the one thing that always stands out to me here is the breaking bread in their homes part… being hospitable and opening your home to people in the church or people who have not yet come to the church but who need the love of Christ and to see His grace. i love having people over to our home, even though i am no Nigella in the kitchen, i enjoy cooking simple meals for people, and chatting and getting to know them. since having Elijah that has definitely declined and i quite miss it, the fellowship and so on.

since joining up with this new church, i have been more and more convicted that God is calling me to be more open to people, to sharing my life with them, whether it be over coffee in a cafe or just telling them my story, or having them over for a meal in our house. i feel as though He is calling me to be a servant and to share His amazing grace that He has bestowed on me, with others. its like He is telling me, “Lizanne, your house is not your house, your house is Mine, I gave it to you to serve Me and My people with.” it sounds loony i know… or corny. but i am so challenged by this, that i really want to get down and start inviting people.

the biggest barrier for me at the moment is, the community and church in which we worship is 35km from our house… and anyone who lives in Cape Town knows that the Boerewors curtain is virtually impenetrable from the Southern Suburbs, only people from the North can cross to the South, not the other way around ;) this is said in jest, but in all the years i have lived here, and been friends with people from the Southern Suburbs, this has been my experience. so i am feeling a tug, to either move closer or just rely on God that He will work and show people that its far, but its not that ridiculous (ok, maybe its a bit mad driving 60km on a Sunday and the same on a Wednesday for small groups) and that He will guide us and show how we can be part of this place we are beginning to call home without being outside the community.

i really pray that home will be wherever God places us, physically or spiritually and that His peace will surround us as we seek to serve Him in our city.

Time is running out for my friend.

We are sitting at lunch when she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of “starting a family.” What she means is that her
biological clock has begun its countdown and she is considering the prospect of motherhood.

“We’re taking a survey,” she says, half jokingly. “Do you think I should have a baby?”

“It will change your life,” I say carefully.

“I know,” she says. “No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more spontaneous vacations…”

But that is not what I mean at all.

I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbirth heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking “What if that had been my child?” That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will look at the mothers and wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think she should know that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will immediately reduce her to the primitive level. That a slightly urgent call of “Mom!” will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might successfully arrange for child care, but one day she will be waiting to go into an important business meeting, and she will think about her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure he is all right.

I want my friend to know that everyday routine decisions will no longer be routine. That a visit to Mc Donald’s and a five year old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s room will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that danger may be lurking in the rest room.

I want her to know that however decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not so much to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My friend’s relationship with her husband will change, but not in the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his son. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would never have imagined.

I wish my modern friend could sense the bond she will feel with other women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your son learn to hit a baseball. I want to capture for her the laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real that it hurts.

My friend’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.

“You’ll never regret it,” I say finally.

by Dale Hanson Bourke
Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul

What can I say… I have the world’s most active little boy… he wakes up and hits the ground running. The minute he wakes up in the morning he goes looking for the dogs. Then he giggles and runs around like a crazy!

Elijah is very opinionated, if he doesn’t like something he will tell you and shake his head.

He loves dancing, and if he gets somewhere new, with new floor he will do a little dance and sometimes a little turn. Its very cute. On occasion he will dance if I tell him to.

He follows some instructions now, so if I ask him to fetch something or put something away, he will (depending on how compliant he feels). He gives hugs and kisses if asked, and sometimes even spontaneously.

He has hopelessly too much energy and the little baby who used to sleep anywhere and everywhere, seems to have gone… He now insists on being awake whenever we’re somewhere new, even if its way past his bedtime – totally not cool.

Elijah is definitely going through a “mine” phase – everything is “mine” – from “mama-myne” to just “myne”… with the little outstretched hand.

Sleep is not going too well, he is actually down to one nap a day, but he only naps for about an hour, then he’s hyper and then grumpy for the rest of the day until bedtime… and then he wakes up a few times at night, but settles fairly easily, only to wake for real at around 6:45 and head straight for the dogs.

I have found that although he doesn’t really like playing WITH other kids, he loves being around them, so its nice to get out and let him have some friends occasionally.

I must admit, motherhood is exhausting and having an active toddler is intense, but I would never change him for anything! I love my little monkey-man!

Do you walk around the house in a frump? Constantly wearing tracksuits? Never bother doing something nice with your hair?

Then do yourself, your husband and kids a HUGE favour and read this book! Sarah Mae is awesome, her blog is the second one I started reading many moons ago, and she has inspired me over and over with her posts.

Frumps to Pumps is not a book to guilt you into dressing up, but rather as Sarah Mae puts it, a motovotional (a motivational devotional), with daily motivations and challenges to help you get dressed in the morning. This 20-day challenge is perfect for moms with small kids, as Sarah breaks the challenges up into bite-size chunks.

(isn’t she lovely?)

As a mom of 3 kids, age 6, 4 and 2, she has a really good idea of how chaotic life can be with littles. She really inspired me to make an effort to get dressed, and realise the heart behind it – so the godly reasons to get dressed.

One part I really loved and that challenged me, is this:

“My life is an ongoing story that my children are reading every day. What kind of a story am I?”

That’s such a challenge in all scopes of life!!

I loved this book and really challenge all my readers to get this e-book and read it!!

I love this post… and I really needed it. I am a busy person, I need to be doing something at all times or I feel like I’m wasting my time. I also feel the need to do something like cleaning or tidying or cooking or cleaning or cleaning all day. Which means I inadvertently feel that my son is interrupting my attempts at doing things…

Sarah Mae is a blessing to so many women, and this post of hers is really awesome! Go and read it NOW!

I am copying the resolution part here, but please, I implore you to read the entire post!

My Mama-Resolution

“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

I resolve, before God and by His grace, to intentionally bring up my children in the training and instruction of the Lord.

I will give my children my time and attention during the day, choosing not sit down with my computer between the hours of when my children wake up to when they take naps/quiet time in the afternoon, or in the evenings before they go to bed.

I will read to them out of God’s Word every morning and teach them how to love God with all their heart, mind, and soul.

I will be kind and compassionate, and sensitive to their needs and their age.

I will help them to face their sin, go to God, and accept forgiveness and grace. I will remind them that they can never lose my love, and if they know God, they can never lose His love.

I will show respect to my husband, especially in front of my children.

I will play dollies, dragons, ponies, games, or do projects with my children at least once a day.

I will take them on adventures and show them the wonder of God through nature and art.

I will teach my son to be a gentlemen, to be brave, to serve, and to protect the weak. I will trust my husband to teach my son to be a man.

I will teach my my daughter to be strong and dignified, to serve, to be modest, industrious, and how to be a mother and homemaker.

I will pay attention to my children’s bents so I can nurture them in developing their giftings.

I will pray for my children every day.

I will tuck my children in with songs, blessing, and prayers every night. I will not rush this time.

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

Psalm 1:1-3

I love this Psalm… and in the last few months it has become somewhat of a mantra for me. With the choices we have made as a family to live in God’s light and not in the world, even if its hard financially etc, these verses have been an encouragement.

That said, due to the choices we have made, we have been consistently attacked by Satan. He knows that we are trying to live a godly life and live a life in the world but not of the world, and so its feels as though he is challenging that and trying to break us.

I feel that God is calling us to stand stronger as a family, to stand stronger in Him and to place Him at the centre of everything in our lives. We try, but we fail, and so now the pressure is on.

As a couple, Chris and I have really been through a ridiculous amount of stuff in 8 years together, the bulk of which while we were fairly newly-married. I prayed then that if the Lord wants this marriage and this family for Himself that He help us and save us. He is good! He is really a God of promises, and the one promise He gave me during the darkest part of our life was Jeremiah 31:3 – The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”
This verse is true today also, His love for me has sustained me, and has helped to love my family more.

In the past year, God has laid family on my heart, and raising our family for Him, in all ways, in the amount of children we have, in whether we send them to school or homeschool and in laying on our hearts to have our children in the church with us, as opposed to sitting in creche or Sunday School. All of these decisions, have been attacked by Satan, through friends and family. And it hurts.

It hurts and makes me doubt myself and fills me with guilt, “am i a bad mother and wife?” or “am i failing as a mom because i don’t do what everyone else does?”. It sucks! I know that I’m not perfect, but that through God’s grace I can be perfect in His sight… however this does not make me a perfect mother, or wife.

Unfortunately, Satan also uses one of my favourite things, blog reading to make me feel inferior, so instead of feeling inspired to do cool things with my family, I feel like I’m failing because I’m NOT doing those things. I feel like I am juggling too many balls and they will all come crashing down.

Another part of my problem I think is also that we have effectively been in the same church that I grew up in since I was 11. I have hordes of history in that church, and some people remember me one way… not necessarily a good way. Maybe they don’t but I feel like they do. Chris and I have also been very hurt by people in that church and mostly well-meaning people showing apparent concern. This stuff all happened years ago and I have forgiven, but it still gets to me in occassion. I no longer feel at home there. Yes, its a great bible-teaching church, and I have some really amazing friends there, I am just not sure it is where God wants us to be. I know that there is no perfect church and that people will always hurt you, so no need to inform me. I also feel that real friends will remain no matter which church we are part of.

This whole novel-length post is really a mixed up way of me saying that we as a family are trying to hear God’s word for us and follow Him. If that means packing up and going somewhere outside our comfort-zone, then so be it. He has opened doors for us since day one, and He is still opening some doors. One of which being Chris’s new job, and whatever goes along with that. I trust Him to help us decide where to go from here, as we know he will lead our family. We want a family that can be strong in God, not in our own power – in which case we will fail. Heck, the only way I have managed so far, being a fairly-decent mama (although Satan would have me think otherwise) is by His GRACE! Daily I need grace to face the challenges a toddler throws at you.And daily He provides it. Daily He blesses my family… maybe not in the ways we expect or think we want/need, but in the right ways for His glory’s sake.

I am blessed with a lovely man, who loves me and works really hard for our family, and tries to do God’s will. We are blessed with a little boy we never thought we could have, who challenges us daily to grow in patience, and who teaches us things about God and His wisdom, love and grace that we never could have learnt another way. We are blessed with friends and family who love us, encourage us, rally around us in times of need, and pray for us.

Yes, blessed indeed is the man who delights in the law of the Lord!

i am going through a season where i think God may be trying to teach me something about being thankful. its a trying time. its about being thankful for what i have and what He has done instead of focussing on what could be or what i would like to have.

its a hard lesson really.

i have so much to be thankful for, yet daily i am inundated with things i want. things that would make me happier, make my life easier, or just seem great at the time. a bigger house would make my life so much easier, with direct garden access and such. another kid would be so awesome, as elijah would have a friend. a dishwasher, a washine machine… the list go on.

God is teaching me these things… (i know the lessons but i am still trying to accept them in my heart):

(source)

(source)

but most of all, He is teaching me this…

(source)

so while i don’t get what i would like even when i think its part of God’s plan, i know that He has always given me what i need. and i know that His timing is perfect, so i will get the things i dream of when He deems the time to be right.

until then, i shall be content and happy with my little family in our little flat, praising God for His love and goodness and provision for us.

listening… chirping birds, ticking clock… silence

eating… ate some tuc biscuits

drinking… going to get coffee shortly

wearing… jeans and a cream shirt

feeling… sad.

weather… cool, but sunny.

wanting… money. kids. big house.

needing… some sleep and chocolate

thinking… Faith in God means faith in His timing – even when it feels like His timing is out…

enjoying… some me-time

“All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”
Pablo Picasso

At Mammas and Munchkins this morning, Elijah painted there lovely pictures with EDIBLE paint! He had heaps of fun… and insisted on giving the bottom picture to Uncle Daniel and the top one is especially for Ouma and Oupa.

Kudos to Cindy, Kirsty, Zoe and the team of fabulous creative mammas who organise the monthly Mammas and Munchkins meetings!